I'm embarrassed to be called a Feminist

By Wanda

I've been a feminist since I could remember. I didn't quite have a name for my views but I knew that I fundamentally disagreed with the maltreatment and inequities that women experienced. I remember the book that changed my life " Ain't I a Woman" by bell hooks. I had a found a kindred soul. And the rest is history.

Today I read an article by Rahna Reiko Rizzuto entitled "Why I left my children" with the subheading "My husband is the one who wanted kids. But I learned I didn't have to live with them to be a good mother" on Salon.com and could not begin typing this post fast enough. I am not a mother nor do I plan to have a big family but I was outraged by the selfishness this woman displayed in search of finding herself at the expense of her children. My rage could also be doubly fueled by the recent article I read by Alice Walker's daughter Rebecca who gave a detailed account of the neglect and lack of parenting that she experienced by her mother, one of the leaders of the feminist cause and womanism. Alice Walker also admitted to her failure as a parent in her biography. Rebecca lamented over the disappointment her mother expressed when Rebecca became pregnant with her son. Shouldn't a mother be happy for her daughter who is experiencing the most miraculous and loving event of birthing a child?

This is not Feminism!!
I know that one person can not define feminism, but when I think about Betty Friedan who wrote the "Feminine Mystic" which became the "bible" for the first wave of feminism in the 60s and 70s, I am sure she did not have this type of behavior in mind. Please note that I do not sit on the other side of the continuum that preaches when you become a mother you drop everything and ignore your own personal interests and passions. I think that a good mother is one that strikes the balance between selfishness and the loss of self.

For me, those who are advocates of feminism should encourage that women have the choice to make decisions about their life. But this does not support the abandonment and neglect of your responsibilities.

I am a big proponent of what's good for the goose is good for the gander. And there are plenty of father's who leave their young children behind, move hundreds of miles away from their children to pursue their career or other personal interests. I don't think that mother's should follow suit. I do not agree with this selfish behavior, on any parents part.

Separate is not equal
I know that single or divorced parents can raise wonderful, productive and responsible children. But that does not make it ideal. A child deserves to have a close relationship with both of their parents. An occasional visit, a "trip" to spend time with a parent should not be considered the norm or even healthy. I know a man who has decided to delay his professional pursuits because he and his wife divorced prior to his planned move to another city. He has postponed that move in order to be close to his children until they graduate from high school. He also moved within 15 minutes from his children so whenever they want to see him or if they need him he can be there quickly. These are the reasonable sacrifices a parent should make.

Selfishness does not equate to Feminism
There will be many that will use these women's stories as ammunition for their argument against feminism. Unfortunately these are bad examples of feminism. Feminism at its best allows a woman to make her own life choices without putting at stake the well-being of those around her, namely her children who need her.

Not Drinking the Kool-aid: On why I still don't like Obama

By Cantice

Don’t send me your hate mail. I’m just doing like I always do, speaking my mind. I’m usually a pretty good judge of character and it bothers me as much (well almost) as it bothers you that there is still something about our President-elect that does not pass my like-o-meter. The question becomes how do I overcome this.

I have read up on Mrs. Obama. I figured that finding out more would help win me over—that didn’t work. While I was impressed with the soon to be First Lady’s work ethic, she too seems to say and do just enough to make her suspicious in my eyes.

I think that’s what it is. You know how people don’t say what they’re really thinking because if they did it would blow their cover and the people who like them would turn on them on a dime? That’s what I think is going on with the Obamas. They feign just enough discontent for it to resonate with other Americans who are agitated. So most Americans think that the Obamas are agitated about the same things that make them mad, but I think they’re wrong. Why would the Obamas be agitated about things that agitate mainstream American people? Michele Obama’s salary was over $270K and Barack’s was over $150K before they became the first family (as president Barack will make $400K –and Michele can finally stay at home). They both went to Ivy League schools, so what does a couple with that bio have to be agitated about?

I guess it’s just a little strange to think that something is broken with a country that provides those types of opportunities to a little “mutt” boy from Hawaii and the daughter of a city water plant employee and secretary. And I think it’s a little arrogant for Obama to think he should be anywhere other than in a cave, a church, or his closet pleading with God for a miracle, because that is what it will take for a man with his limited experience to make enough of the right decisions to keep this country strong and committed to the philosophies of hard work, charity, reverence for God and bible, and equal opportunity that got us to this point--no we haven't always experienced equality, but as a country we have been committed to the idea.

So I’ll start overcoming my skepticism, my downright distrust for the Obamas, if you’ll overcome the idea that America is unfair, uncharitable, racist and needs to abandon its Christian roots. For my part, I’m already praying earnestly for their protection, their cohesion as a family unit and most of all I’m praying for Barack Obama to receive a visitation by the Holy Spirit so that the Obama who exits the White House will be totally unrecognizable compared to the one who went in. What will you do to meet your end of this challenge?

By Wanda

Cantice there is no remedy for your inability to “overcome this.” You and your fellow padres refuse to get pass your suspicions because you’ve drunk too much of the Republican Party’s Kool-Aid. Dear Reader, Cantice, among other delusional African American Republicans, which at this point in history sounds like an oxymoron, have been brainwashed with Republican propaganda that promotes fear and ignorance about Barack Obama. She believes in her heart that he is not “likeable” or trustworthy. Sounds like the Right leaning media has heavily infiltrated her ability to see the truth. I would think that these individuals (namely African American Republicans) would be smarter than that and could see through the racism and xenophobia of many Republican leaders. Cantice speaks against Obama as if he does not have her best interest at heart, although she looks like his daughters, his wife and all those residents on the South Side of Chicago. But Cantice really believes that he does not care about ALL Americans and especially those who have and continue to struggle to achieve the dream. I am not saying that just because you’re Black that you have Blacks’ interest at heart i.e. Supreme Justice Clarence Thomas, but I do believe that Obama does.

Many of our conservative leaning Americans purport that this country is fair to all, charitable to all, colorblind, and was founded on Christian values. Clearly white men who have benefited from this country’s history promote this propaganda. Our forefathers (drafters of the Constitution) were not Christians but Deists, as such, and the values? Clearly the values of the first few hundred years and arguably even today were greed, violence, and more greed. However, American ideals show us what we can become as a unified country. But what has “gotten us to this point” are Americans who really believed in the ideals presented in the Constitution that “all men are created equal and have certain inalienable rights” and have spoken against slavery, segregation, sexism sometimes at the expense of ridicule, excommunication or loss of political office.(McCain would not be numbered in this group considering he voted down MLK commemoration in the state of Arizona. Which he now sees as a mistake… oh really Senator?)

As far as the Obama’s success, he nor Michelle should have to apologize for picking themselves up by their own bootstraps, excelling in school, matriculating through this country’s best higher educational institutions- all on student loans…unlike the McCain’s who both come from wealth; John McCain’s dating back to his ancestors owning slaves and Cindy’s from her family's booze company. The Obama’s come from meager beginnings and worked really hard to get where they are… of course they are agitated! Many of their friends and family members are continuing down that track to reach the American dream. How many of us have done better than those in our family or community, whether it’s in education or financial success but still feel the burden for those who are still working towards the American dream?

Cantice states that Barack Obama is arrogant and needs to plead for a miracle from God because of his limited experience. Well, if her glowing President, George W. Bush wouldn’t have sat by and allowed his Congress to ignore all the signs of a failing economy, or bullied and pissed off most of our foreign allies then maybe Obama wouldn’t need so much experience. In summing up, I actually do agree with Cantice that we should pray that the Holy Spirit will descend on Obama and the White House but I am also going to pray that the Holy Spirit descend down on Republicans and give them the strength to honor our new Commander in Chief, POTUS, Barack Hussein Obama. May God Bless America!!!!