The Obama Dilemma: Do I vote Race or Family Values?

Commentary By Wanda


With the Presidential primaries in full speed, and Barack Obama one of the leading Democratic candidates it seems timely and appropriate to consider the possibility of a black president. Just the other day I was having coffee with a friend and he asked me what I thought about Barack Obama. Although I will have to leave out the extremities of my response I basically told him I was not sure America was ready for a man with mixed racial background to be President nor do I think we're ready for a woman (Not long after our discussion, Ambassador Andrew Young confirmed my view about Obama.) Now as I am writing this commentary I think that I might have been wrong. Clearly, change is never welcomed. If MLK would have waited until the right time we might have never been able to pass legislation against racial discrimination; if Susan B. Anthony, Harriet Tubman, or Sojourner Truth would have waited, many of us who have historically been discriminated against would still live in that reality. I am in no way asserting that many are not still the victims of discrimination, but, thanks to the efforts of those named above, in less overt ways. Blacks and women have been programmed to “wait” whether to serve or to prolong action. I am not naïve enough to think that action will inevitably create an instant change. However, inaction has never accomplished much either. I don’t struggle with politics and race very often but I do feel the tension between race and gender. It’s a slippery slope and many times the greater (race) calls on me to place the lesser (gender) on the back burner. It will be curious to see how many of us who have voted conservative now negotiate the tension between race and politics.

Now this leads me to my second point. Voting Family Values. I don’t understand what that really means since values were enforced by my parents and government was to be viewed, according to my parents, as having control over broader, social issues. But nevertheless, many blacks who have voted for “family values” candidates in the past will face -The Obama Dilemma. Many of these same individuals who were shouting from the rooftops about family values have expressed their support of Obama. News alert! Obama is pro-choice, pro-civil unions, pro-stem cell research among other liberal political positions (We shouldn't forget the gospel concert controversy with Donnie McClurkin.)So Black Conservative Christian…how will you vote? Are you Christian first or Black first? (If you want to read an interesting book on this topic read Finding Soul Brothers: Dismantling Black Christian Racialism by Pamela G. Wilson.) Now, I am not saying that there is anything wrong with their decision; they have a right to vote for any candidate of their choosing. But has race trumped your convictions? Or do you see the importance of electing a man who can empathize with the plight of the “other” and wants to see change for himself and future generations.

Finally, it should be interesting to see who our beloved mega-pastors endorse if Obama makes it as the democratic candidate. (Hummm, but many of these pastors will be avoiding the IRS so we may not hear much from them this election season.) Nevertheless, I think that this miry muck will bring to light the tension between politics and race. My voting decision has yet to be finalized and I am in no way stating my full support of Obama, Clinton, or anyone else for that matter. Voting exclusively based on race, gender or family values is equally dangerous but somehow I feel that it will characterize the voting decisions of many this election.

Commentary by Cantice

Well it has been a long time. Wanda didn't let you faithful readers down in her posting of a lengthy, gutsy, rather disclosing commentary about making tough voting decisions. When Wanda mentioned that she was going to write about Obama, he was the furthest thing from my mind. My not thinking about Barack Obama in several months has a different impact today as I try to muster up an appropriate response to Wanda's critical statements. One way to begin to connect with this topic is to tell you what presidential thoughts I have had.

Most of my political thoughts have been at least in part prompted by my husband's faithful attention to media surrounding the presidential race. Most recently, he's (we've) been interested in Huckabee's rise to popularity. Internally, I've struggled with whether I prefer someone like Huckabee or Guiliani. The merits of Huckabee that attract me are his overt Christian worldview, including his position on abortion, and his more realistic ideas about immigration. Conversely, I am attracted to Guiliani's economic outlook including school choice programs. As I've said to my husband, we'll always have pastors to champion our moral beliefs and guide us in doing our part to color our communities with that theistic, Christian outlook. But when I think about our country's economic troubles, which for me do not concern an increase in minimum wage, but focus on the depreciating dollar and an expanding trade deficit and national debt, I wonder if an agenda that places moral or social change at the top of its list is the best for this country. A failed economy will produce equality; we'll all be destitute. Lack of freedom to determine a standard of living by the educational, occupational, and networking choices one makes will be widespread. I don't want that kind of equality. That kind of equality was imposed by communism and caused the despair felt by Russian citizens and many others.

But back to Obama. In short, I don't feel a tug to consider voting in his favor. At least I don't now. I do remember a faint sadness I felt when I first learned of his popularity and decision to run for president. I was saddened that we sit on opposite sides of the political table (it would take me too long to tell why the Republican platform more closely matches my idea of national government, than that of Democrats, Libertarians or The Green Party). The GOP is certainly not my picture of the perfect party, but when I boil it all down, it is the party that supports more of my ideas about what government should do. My hope is that more people from my ancestry (black Americans) would embrace those ideas. I hope that one day I will be able to vote for a black president for no other reason than that I believe that he or she will be the best candidate for the job. In that way I will simultaneously combat my own prejudices while also doing what I believe is best for my country.

Keep the Pressure On

Commentary by Cantice

At church last Sunday, I sat on the edge of my seat as my pastor called for men to rebuild the walls of their own lives, and those of their families and communities. I was inspired by that message to issue a challenge of my own. Coming off of Father’s Day weekend, I’m putting out a call to women to keep the home fires lit by expecting more from your current or future man. For married women I dare you to expect your husband to make enough money to support you and your children. For single women I challenge you to be celibate and to stop dating men because you’re lonely and like free entertainment. To all my single sisters out there, I challenge you to call your girlfriend when you want to spend time with someone. Learn to be a woman’s best friend.

Before Father’s Day I listened as a girlfriend lamented the lack of good marriage material (men) in our local community. I responded that women helped created these “slim pickins” by being in relationships where we give our bodies, our emotions, and our financial and educational support. We have created male counterparts who have no reason to buy into marriage. Only those men who have been wise enough to resist the help we’ve offered sexually, financially, spiritually, and emotionally find themselves wanting us. Those are the men who marry.

While I recognize that women can’t change men, I think we help them in our families and relationships by setting high expectations of them. This is elementary psychology. It is how good teachers and parents inspire children. It is how good coaches and pastors inspire adults. Even the most self-motivated or spiritually-motivated person aspires to higher standards once he or she comes in contact with another person whose standards are just a little higher.

Those of us who came of age post-Sexual Revolution may find the paradigm of a male primary wage-earner and any celibate adult outdated. But if we’re truthful, many of us who tried to do relationships the new way were unfulfilled and frustrated. I think Wanda said a few commentaries back that there is “nothing new under the sun.” If we believe that, why don’t we apply it to our relationships? Married women out there are thinking that I don’t know what their lives would be like if they stopped working or made a change in career that put the pressure on their husband to begin seeing himself as the one on whose shoulders the finances fell. If that is you, please know that I don’t challenge a person to do anything I haven’t done. I’ve got to be honest here. It was my husband who put the pressure on himself to be able to support our family without my income. At the same time, he didn’t demand that I quit working, nor did he restrict us from following through on our plans to have children early in marriage. Today I’m reaping the benefits of his faith and high standards for himself as the head of our union under God.

To read more from Cantice logon to her blog.

Response By Wanda

Cantice if I didn't know you were born in the 70's I would think you were born in 1920! Yes women should have standards, and yes women should expect the best, I will agree with you on those points. But Cantice really, do you think that I should be responsible for making men into the marrying type or praying for God to send me a man to be the primary wage earner? I can't even believe that you are suggesting this ancient notion of marriage.

Additionally, there are many "traditional" women who can not find a good man just like all of us "radical" types. Also, give me a break about women having good female relationships. Married people kill me with this one. Of course single women have fabulous girlfriends and wonderful and interesting careers but just like you lay up in the bed next to your husband... they want to also. So if they appear to be focused on it... can you blame them? You should understand. And in my opinion the amount of the time you have been single makes you more of a expert on the subject. I meet married people who hold Single conferences... (huh?) who married when they were between the ages of 22-26. I am not minimizing their experiences but they weren't single that long so can one really speak to the challenges of being single to the rest of the adult population -those individuals who have figured out who they are (most 25 year olds haven't) and have established themselves financially and professionally (men and women included.)

A few years ago I heard a 40 year old woman speak at a Singles event (1 of about 3 that I have ever attended) and she had never been married. I wish she would have been more candid with the audience but she went the superspiritual route and didn't discuss her day to day challenges. But nevetheless I think if she was more open with us she could have really helped people. These type of people need to hold Singles Conferences not people that can't even remember being single, picked the first person who came their way or had been a chronic dater their entire life before they settled down.

Whew... I'm exhausted. I think that your commentary this week has been a blow to women like myself who try to communicate a new way of thinking of ourselves and of men. What is even more depressing is that your views are not uncommon among young women. Lastly, my reference to the famous line in Shakespeare's sonnet "nothing new under the sun" can not be appropriated for this conversation. But if we were to apply it here, for argument sake, then you should advocate that we stop educating our girls and teach them that their only goal in life is to have children and clean the house since that is the way things were done in the past.

To read more from Wanda logon to SummerBloggin.