Commentary
by Cantice
Like a few of you out there, I paid my ten dollars and watched “The Nativity Story.” Before watching it, I had read reviews that rated it from a C- to an A. I’m no movie critic; I’ve given enough grades in my young teaching career to decline that role. But, I enjoyed the movie enough to want to pay to see it a second time with my husband, having gone with a group of church small group workers the first time around.
The script followed the biblical account very closely, so those who were looking for a scandalous twist in the story were probably disappointed. The three wise men took a more central role than that depicted in the book of Matthew, partially to serve as comic relief, but everything else was by the book. So why would I want to see it again? Because of Joseph.
Call me a hopeless romantic, but Joseph’s chivalry in the movie was wildly attractive. Mary’s faith was awe-inspiring—one of the reasons we tend to acknowledge her virtue even in the protestant tradition, but this movie paid tribute to Joseph’s loyalty, a character which is often overlooked. Joseph kept his marriage vow to a woman who returned to him from a short vacation pregnant and showing. He did it within a culture that valued genealogy and sexual morality. Notwithstanding the cultural disdain, he took Mary as his wife, and continued to honor her by doing all that was within his power to provide for her safe and healthy pregnancy and delivery. On a trip that took several weeks, he offered her the best of his food. She rode the transportation (a donkey) as he walked beside it. He stopped for warmth when she was cold. And on that several weeks-long trip, he didn’t violate the Jewish custom of waiting a year (after giving his initial vow) to consummate the marriage.
What would Joseph’s self-control look like in a man today? Choosing a wife based on his perception of her character rather than on her “bootyliciousness”? Establishing his career and building/buying or preparing a home for his wife to come in to? Working and saving money so that the two of them wouldn’t have to start off struggling? Taming his sexual urges while single so that adultery would not be a factor leading to his divorce? What, no internet porn? No masturbation and strip club habits?
I can’t give all the credit for Joseph’s conduct to his pragmatic way of life. Joseph had faith. He had to have it in order to endure the ridicule of friends and family who wanted to, but refrained from calling him “stupid” to his face. He had faith that being merciful would pay off in the end, that thinking the best of people wouldn’t necessarily let him down. He had faith that God would make everything alright eventually.
I wonder if we can even dream of building relationships based on faith in each other any more. Or those based on honoring each other, even when things aren’t adding up. I know I need a refresher course on thinking the best of my husband at all times. Even as I write this, I’m thinking of the subtle way God has encouraged me to build my husband up frequently as we continue our journey together.
Response
By Wanda
I am midway through finals, so I have barely seen the light of day let alone a movie. And rarely, if ever am I left speechless. But after reading your commentary the only thing I can say is “Bah Humbug.” The idea of faith in your man or woman even when everything doesn’t add up sounds like an evangelical women’s ministry session or even worse a bad Lifetime movie. However, the idea of meeting a "Joseph" would be a great pick me upper for the holiday season.
We know very little about Joseph's character, but its not too hard to believe that he was an exceptional man. After all he was chosen as the "father" of Jesus Christ. Chivalry should never go out of style, it's like the perfect black cocktail dress. A man with qualities like Joseph are admirable, uncommon, but nevertheless something to look for in a man ( or a woman). I am not a hopeless romantic, nor am I "in love" with being in love, but I do appreciate romance. And it's always nice when you come across a man that has a high level of moral and personal constraint. We need more men with Joseph's character, unfornately society doesn't reward "nice guys" nor do women make significant moral demands on their future husband or husbands; we typically take 'em how we can get 'em.
Blindly believing or trusting your mate is insane. Respect and trust are daily exercises. I am not saying that relationships should be built on suspicion but a small amount of doubt in your faith is healthy (Remember the movie The Sound of Music). The only relationship where one should exercise a “faith when things don’t always add up” is the one you have with Christ. Everyone else is up for evaluation.
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