Predestination or Free-Will?

Commentary By
Wanda

Since beginning this blog, as a single woman, I have struggled with the natural inclination to talk about dating, relationships, men, blah, blah, blah... Despite my past victories, it seems that I am going to do what I promised myself I wouldn’t and that is to talk about relationships. However, I want to discuss relationships from a different perspective. My well meaning friends (I love you guys) always have an answer for me after a bad date, or a failed relationship, “Oh he just wasn’t the one God has for you,” or “God will send him when you least expect it” as if finding a decent guy is solely based on predestination or even worse I will be blindsided – ahhh no thank you.

For years Christians have struggled between the two ideas of predestination and free-will. Predestination means that God has everything planned out for our lives and no matter what we do ultimately we will complete everything that has been “predestined.” The ideology of free-will means that people have the ability to make choices about their lives. The significance of these two ideologies is that one believes that God has chosen you and the other, that you choose God. I do not mean to imply that a man could be God. But if as my friends would say, “God will send the right man” the implication is that neither he nor I have a choice in the matter; ultimately we are puppets in the master plan. Additionally, I do not believe that dating is in the man’s hand, he should not decide if he wants to marry you but you decide whether you want to marry each other.

I wholeheartedly believe that God has given humans free-will and we choose and decide what we will do with our lives. Although, there are several movements throughout churches that speak of fulfilling one's destiny or purpose, I believe a great deal of this is not fully biblical and designed to give people a greater focus on life – all well meaning, however, our only “purpose” is to spread the gospel. But I digress, back to my question: Is it possible to have several possibilities for your life? Couldn’t I marry a decent guy and make a conscious decision to stay married to him without him being the “one”? Or better yet, do these same friends believe that marriage is all spiritual? Anyone who has been married more than 2 years, knows that marriage is not all spiritual. Whether it’s a mate, career, or the right college for your kids I believe that the best decision is made through prayer, thoughtfulness, and research and it is not based on a set heavenly plan that is mysteriously displayed to us by surprise. Remarkable people and events are a matter of free-willed humans believing in great possibilities. All that talk about predestination is just phooey!

Response by Cantice

Sorry, I'm not taking the bait on this one. Predestination vs. Free-will can not be hashed out in a one page blog. In the experience Wanda gives, concerning her friends' comments, her friends are just using indirect language which puts the onus on God and excuses Wanda from any responsibility for a bad date or unwanted singleness. Any casual friend would do so. And the fact that they are in religious circles gives them a familiar language to do it in. (More about this later at the end of this commentary.) I haven't studied it in a while, but doesn't predestination specifically concern those who will be saved? Wanda's questions about her choices have more to do with God's sovereignty (will God let things happen that He doesn't want to happen and will He make what He wants to occur, occur?), don't they?

An Afront to your Aside (Purpose)…

I think that humans were put on earth to do more than spread the gospel, especially since “The Gospel” came after humans were put on the earth. Genesis records that God put humans on earth to increase in number, work and rule over the earth and its creatures. Humans increase in number physically by establishing natural and adopted families. We subdue the earth by creating boundaries that at once maximize the grand potential and beauty of nature and point to the majesty of God, while at the same time we control it and protect it from overgrowth. We subdue the earth by harnessing its resources to perpetuate our lives, and creating systems of governance that ensure that the earth and its creatures don’t begin to rule over us. Those systems of governance encompass our working fields. So a person could live out his or her mission or purpose by educating the next generation, eradicating the spread of curable diseases, or working to equip servant leaders to replace ego-centric leadership structures.

Words…

But concerning purpose, what’s in a word? In the circles that use the phrase, My purpose is…, there is agreement that God first saved me (from hell through Jesus Christ) and then gave me a job to do. So whether people say, my mission is…, or my purpose is…, or my goal is to…, does it matter? And concerning relationships, whether people say, God will send you, or you will find…the one, or someone, I believe they are expressing their prayers to God for your good on your behalf. They are praying for God to prepare someone to meet you and for you to be prepared to find someone/the one you will choose to marry.

Concerning your Date and Just Call me Dr. Ruth…

Spiritual language aside, your bad date was probably just payback…a little reap-reap for the sew-sew. Next time, you give me the scenario of the date, and I’ll tell you what went wrong. Better yet, tell me who you’re thinking about dating and I’ll let you know all of the awkward moments that you can expect. I won’t sugar coat it for you. You know I don’t mind giving my opinion. That is one of my “gifts.”