R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Commentary by
Cantice

My family—mom, dad, and grandparents, was not “traditional.” They didn’t play traditional sex roles (mama was a young professional, daddy stayed home), nor did they have traditional values (Big Mama never went to church). I guess by traditional, I also mean conservative or strict. While my siblings and I were expected to respect elders, observing a certain reverence for their age and experience, we were not trained to say, “Yes ma’am,” and “Yes sir.” There was often a co-mingling of the younger and older generations in my family. The maxim, children are to be seen and not heard, was not necessarily true in our case. My home environment mixed with my personality produced a girl who was outspoken in every sense. I’ll go further to say that additional experiences in my life produced a young woman who did not observe the distance, or reverence that is traditionally granted authority figures. Despite my unorthodox treatment of authority, I’m not egalitarianist.

Egalitarianism is a principle championed by a strand of feminist theorists who advocate for equal treatment of all humans and who, additionally, deny differences between men and women, asserting that gender is a social construct. As I studied this idea, (naturally) I challenged it. The notion seems to ignore the reality of ownership and control fiscally, culturally, politically and spiritually. Those in support of egalitarianism would try to convince me that it was this type of thinking that “freed your people” when they were slaves. (In fact Christian doctrine is used (selectively) to support egalitarian ideology. I know I am opening a can of worms here, and maybe Wanda or another reader will “go there.” That is not my purpose here.) In class with assenters to the egalitarian concept, I sensed that people thought of me as traditional or conservative, or worse oppressed and self-loathing. But anyone who knows me knows I’m self-actualized. Most of the time, I love my questioning, challenging, in your face personality. Sometimes I try unsuccessfully to rein it in. Full-blown, my passion for my point-of-view doesn’t care who is on the other end of my hot breath, and that has gotten me in trouble.

In familial, governmental, church and corporate spheres, I’ve had my run- ins. But while I’ve known the protocol in those so-called secular environments, I’m sometimes unsure of my position in untraditional church relationships. For me the titles in the Baptist church made is easier to keep distance. We called each other Brother and Sister, Deacon Last name, and Rev. Last name. A drawback of those titles happened to be that we didn’t ever get to know each other outside of them. While, I know that no matter where I go, I retain my citizenship in The Church, I also know that I would feel uncomfortable if everybody called me Sister Greene all the time. And what would that mean?

Authority, hierarchy, status, and protocol as a family of concepts still cause me to wrestle to understand my role(s) within them. In relation to these virtues the only thing I know for sure is embodied in the related concept respect. And that, I’ve heard it said, You gotta give some to get.

Response by
Wanda

I don’t have much of a response to this week’s commentary but I will make an attempt. First, I would like to thank Cantice for sparing us the regurgitation of Christian & Hebrew Scriptures that are used to substantiate certain mainstream Christian notions of authority. Additionally, to your comment, “Those in support of egalitarianism would try to convince me that it was this type of thinking that 'freed your people' when they were slaves. In fact Christian Doctrine is used (selectively) to support egalitarian ideology….maybe Wanda will “go there,”" Cantice, Scriptures are used to support a lot of things- selectively – and I won’t go there.

Cantice you say, “I am not egalitarianist.” So what if you were? Does that make you any less of who you are as a Christian or responsible adult? What are you afraid to lose, or more importantly, what’s at stake for you? I find that many of us (egalitarians) want to wholly embrace our relationship with Christ and integrate into our church community. You may believe (as many others do) that experiencing your faith and following the “rules” of church are synonymous, but although related they are not the same. Egalitarianism does not mean anarchy or chaos, but merely alternating dominance.

Cantice, I am not convinced that you are fully anti–egalitarianism. I would go so far as to say you may not be as much of a traditionalist as you would like to admit. You could very well be a "suppressed” egalitarian. I say we revisit this topic in about, ahhh….10 years and lets see what you say.