Crisis

Commentary by

Cantice

I’m running out of stuff to talk about. It’s not because I’ve exhausted my breadth of topics. I think it’s because I’ve been shut up inside of buildings studying for exams. It’s sad. And it brings me to my question for this week—actually, I’ve got a couple.Is it me or are Americans looking rougher than normal lately? When I say rough, I mean ‘broke-down,’ beat-down and exhausted. It's as if we need to take a nap. But it’s more than that. We need someone to tell us, “I don’t care how tired you are, you do not go out looking like that.” More than ever we need someone to tell us, "You don’t even walk around your house like that." (This makes me look back on my Spelman College days warmly, remembering the first week when they said, “Though we are all sisters, you do not leave your dorm-room in house shoes, and certainly not rollers and a head scarf…You are a Speeeelman woman!”) At the time, I thought they were bourgeoisie. Now I feel like they need to package Freshwoman week and sell it to the general public.

I was shopping at Wal-Mart recently—yes, I still shop at Wal-Mart (but less frequently cause the lines are starting to get to me.)—and I was hit by the fact that in addition to out of shape, the customers and workers in the store just looked tired. In the face, in the unkempt clothes, and in our responses to one another everything about us said, give me a break. To that, you might say—Do you expect to find anything different when shopping at the low price leader of retailers? Point taken. But I don’t think it’s just at Wal-Mart. I used to wonder if people were prone to bags underneath and sunken-in eyes genetically (that was before I ever saw the same in my own reflection). Now I know from experience that too many projects, not enough sleep, and not enough down-time will make even the most naturally radiant of us look scary. And that brings me to my second point—actually the two are only barely connected—for those of us who are tired because we’re going to school and working, is education really worth it?

I know this argument is old, but let’s rehash it. The more I stay in formal education circles (teaching in the university, grad-school educated friends) the more I see that I’ve got to have more than brains, not just to get ahead financially, but to like myself, to pass on something of substance to the next generation, and to not take myself too seriously. Beyond “religion” in addition to education, I need comedy, soul food cooked by somebody else, and maybe even a secret rendezvous (if it's just with my girls on a road trip) not to go crazy “up in here.” Am I the only one feeling like we’re working to our own detriment? How did the working class investors of old do it and not lose their families, their religion, and their minds in the process? The only inkling of an answer I’ve thought of is that having extended family around made things more bearable (when they weren't the source of the madness). But in the 2000’s we don’t have that. I live more than 3000 miles away from anybody who grew up in the same house or down the street from me (not counting my homegirl Olu from North High who relocated to ATL after undergrad). Being connected to her may be the only reason I don’t yet have gray. To anyone else out there who’s working too hard, my question is...,"For what?" And what are we going to do about it?

Response by Wanda

Well, Cantice it appears that you are experiencing what I go through on a weekly basis. I am so happy that you have been able to share in my suffering of extended study sessions. You ask the question “Why are we all so tired and unconcerned about how we look?” Let me speak from personal experience. As far as being “tired”, I suffer on a bi-monthly basis from sleep deprivation and many of you have been the recipient of my belligerent behavior during those moments of fatigue. And to your next question of being “unconcerned about how we look,” just yesterday, after sleeping for 5 hours, I spent most of the day studying Greek and at some point of the day I realized that I had left the house with a cute jacket, top, pants, and shoes however, none of these items should have been worn together in an ensemble. So this phenomenon can get to the best of us.

Now to your next point and I believe an important one, “What is the point of advanced education?” I have asked myself this every single day for the last 19 months of my life. It is my philosophy that too much education can be debilitating. You become very knowledgeable, the envy of your friends, but your education is irrelevant if it does not in some way contribute to the “real world. What’s the point? All those sleepless nights and social sacrifices can be like masochism if you don’t find its relevance. I do think through ministry, utilizing your talents for the sake of others, and being active in the world, is the only way intellectual investment makes sense.

The best part of mining through this process of higher learning is, as you said, having wonderful friends (who have ‘normal’ lives) and can create a balance for you. Good friends are definitely gifts from God. After reading Ethics or slaving through Greek verb tenses, I can call one of my friends and we will talk about fashion, entertainment gossip, or our next vacation. I like the fact that they will never ask about my views on Womanist theology or raise ontological questions about the existence of God. Although I do get the occasional religious phenomena question for instance “Do you believe that could possible be the tomb of Jesus?” (Editorial Note: It’s highly unlikely)

You raise another important question this week, “What are we going to do about it?” This question has made me rethink some things and I have decided I will commit to the following: I will commit to economizing my time better so that I won’t have to pull all-nighters on a constant basis, and I will vow to pause for 10 seconds in front of the mirror every morning as not to leave the house disheveled. This is still no guarantee that you may catch me walking across campus or standing in line at Target with an odd outfit coupled with dark circles under my eyes. But I will try to do better.

And last but not least to your comment about gray hair. First, although you don’t have any as of date, whatever you do, if you get any, please don’t pluck it because 10 more will come to its funeral. Secondly once you hit your 30’s you can look forward to your fair share of them, unless you’re lucky. And thirdly as long as you know a good colorist you can be a brunette for the rest of your life!